On Sunday I was literally in Sam-Paradise. I've decided that I was meant to be a super-hiker-hero-lady. Bohemian Paradise was...I can't even describe how marvelous I felt afterwards. All of the crazy winding stairs, breathless puddle-stomping (it rained for a miserable 15 minutes and then went into beautiful-world-is-drying-in-the-sun mode) and dirt-drenched-calf-burn completely cleansed my mind and body. Exactly what I needed. Bohemian Paradise is a nature preserve that used to be a shallow sea; so there are all these crazy sandstone pillar configurations covered in different shades of green. Probably EVERY green you could possibly IMAGINE! Plus there were only 6 of us (which makes things SO much easier during tours). Our guide Milosh is a reknown guide who has worked for the Discovery channel and the Travel channel...I actually saw him on Samantha Brown's Passport to Prague right before I left hah...let's just say that if I could choose a grandpa...he WOULD be it...because he is the COOLEST old man EVER. He's like 60 probably and he climbed/hiked that mountain with just as much gusto as me...which was a LOT of gusto...plus he smells like cashews....and even though I hate cashews it was remarkably endearing!
We went to the Bone Church at Kutna Hora (google pics of it...or just wait till I facebook them...eventually lol). BONES AND NEO-NAZIS...I was rather terrified, genuinely freaking out.

Yesterday I climbed to the top of Petrin Hill and found this beautiful rose garden.

It reminded me of my roots in Alice in Wonderland. I guess that's what I feel like here...without all the OFF WITH HER HEAD business. I also found this really neat/creepy Magick Museum, which I am going to go to with my friend Justin because everyone else I was with was like "That's stupid and lame...who wants to see an exhibit on fairy-monster-ness...blah blah blah...I'm a lame-o..." but I'm really excited to see it. I also found this tree stump that was completely hollow! Justin and I climbed in it, so now I can say that I have truly been INSIDE a tree!!! (or at least a dead one...)

I went to St. Vitus alone yesterday. I put Chopin on my Ipod and just WENT. I stayed there for about an hour and a half because it was so beautiful. It was just the right size compared to Westminster Abbey, Cantebury and Notre Dame. It was large enough to induce wonder, but not so large that it made you feel like you were gonna tip over when looking up. The stained glass and mosaics are spectacular there. The first thing I saw when I walked in was rose colored light from the windows on the pillars. The stained glass is a lot different here; it's depicted in small tiny peices, like flakes, or when someone rips up little peices of paper and glues them into a picture. It was so nice to go somewhere by myself, specifically to St. Vitus...I think I am spelling that wrong...OH WELL
I also went to the old Jewish Cemetery yesterday, which was truly awe-inspiring. Graves were literally stacked on top of each other, sandwiched in tight scewed little rows. The ground was raised from all of the different layers of burial. There are 12,000 counted gravestones not to mention the 12 layers of graves beneath each marked headstone...so that's 144,000 dead bodies in a space that is probably half the size of the graveyard behind my house. I don't think it has hit me yet how many people were really buried there. I was just sitting on this little side turret thing while I was there because I really couldn't comprehend how that many people fit into that small of space.
ANYWHOS I was supposed to go run this morning...that's why I got up so early...but I find myself not wanting to go...for some odd reason...maybe it's the giant cobblestoned hills here...maybe its the fact that I'm going to dance my booty off tonight at Mecca...okay...those seem to be justifiable reasons...?

Motivation for Waking Up.

So...one thing that I have become annoyed with is the lack of wanting to DO anything around here...I am always the person to be like "HEY LETS GO CLIMB A CASTLE!" and everyone else is like "Nawww man shoot...im tired...i didnt get back from being drunk until 4 in da mornin' and i really needa sleep yo...."
ok...
so that was a rather urban interpretation of what was actually said...but IM SICK OF IT! Lets just face it: its not safe to go places by myself, and its not fun to go with a bunch of hungover people. Plan a) steal all the alcohol in the city and hide it inside the giant tourist airbaloon river ride...
plan B) turn into a man so that i dont get attacked when I'm alone and wandering the city (which i dont really want to do i must say)
plan C) convince everyone that Prague's beer is NOT the finest in the world and that they should be ashamed of themselves for thinking it is.

http://www.sterf.be/nggallery/page-5/page/98

I dunno. None of these so called "plans" sound very convincing/time efficient. I'm just a little angry because we only have two more weeks left and all anyone EVER does is SLEEP. SLEEP WHEN YOU GET HOME DAMNIT!

I went puddle jumping last night with my friend Justin, that was fun. You would not believe the thunderstorms here: gorgeous. I think the next time there's a thunderstorm I'm gonna go watch from Charles Bridge. That should be fantastic! There's also this crazy bird out my window...that kind sounds like a mechanical-shark-clock...SO obnoxious. I've kind of come to HATE birds...

Running here is good, but hard because its so hilly and humid. Ridiculously hilly actually, the kind of hilly that makes me want to stab someone in the face. Cobblestones are not so nice on the knees and my running shoes are pretty much falling apart and killing my feet...not so happy about that.

I'm going on a feildtrip tomorrow to Kutna Hora, the bone catheral. I'm doing my research on the church now and it turns out that in the 1600's some earth from the holy land was sprinkled on the graveyard outside of the cathedral, consequently it became the favorite resting spot of the rich and the famous during that time period. Eventually the graveyard ran out of space and the extra bones/remains were stored inside a crypt in the Cathedral. Apparently some monk went completely mad and started making decorations and sculptures out of the bones. There's a Chandelier that contains every bone in the human body as well as an organ i think???!
Needless to say the morbid part of me is sooooooo EXCITED! many pictures shall be taken.

HEY ALL! So...list of newly acquired things:
1. kind-of man friend who pays for dinner and delicious cognac...
2. friendship.
3. found silver scarf
4. new perspective on feminism as "womanism" which comes from a place of strength rather than victimization...
5. garnet fish necklace
6. location for free refills on soda...people seemingly dont drink water here...
7. crazed owl
8. Giant frickin metranome
9. owl professor
10. newly found appreciation for ladies who are strong enough (and stupid enough) to wear high heels...on cobblestones...to five story giant dance clubs...and be able to walk the next day...
11. ladies who never wear the same outfit twice...(Madison and Sally)
12. intelligent men-folk...who talk about more than their own dicks (a surprisingly nice change)
13. lists that dont ramble...
14. peppermint tea in a foreign country...so comforting
15. random coincident that a GIANT jazz festival just happens to occur while I'm here HECK YES!
16. Restaurants on top of giant hills over looking spires and spires of gold and turquoise
17. Lady bugs that resurrect themselves
18. Being the Queen of the Man-Running-Runners-Gang...we kick ass...what can I say?

I love it here.

The Taste of Alcohol Through Sweat


In a foreign country all men cluck at long legs;
all legs click cobble-wedged in level coursed
grey texture. All views spired gold,
mica antique bowls, upside down
catch breath in larynx.
My school is burning velvet, on bridges,
on metronomic roses,
on fire.

Vodka steamed moon reflects a soft-pedaled river—
waking in vista of living, scrubbing, rubbernecking
horizon. That statue is holding—
a family.

Every next morning,
I run on crunched catkins, pasted mulberries,
in oaks older than helixing streets,
beside an auburn man
who is tied to my wrist by paper napkin skin,
who sees in my eyes

that rainbow—

is why I work so hard to be color,
Hesitating the igneous indigo breath,
clutching at history’s small
lined
palms.

MORNING!

SO I did not sleep last night. The beds are sorry excuses for beds and the pillows are like watered down squashed jelly fishes...but I have two giant water bottles and about 7 pounds of fruit that I got for about ten dollars...which I might say is a pretty decent price. Everything here is decently priced...wait...I think I skipped a few steps between now and the last post...synopsis:
Arrived at Prague on Friday morning at about 7:30 their time, Madison and I did a very jet-lagged wandering of Old Town and got amazingly lost. We eventually found our way back to the hotel and I got a soup and salad that were both KIKCIN'! The first meal in Prague was definitely a SUCCESS!
Madison's 17 year old brother was probably one of the most sarcastically typical teenage boys I have ever met, included each of my own brothers (which is sayin something...) ANYWAYS!
After meal we had nap, then met up with a girl named Sally and her Mom for dinner. They had already been here for a week and therefor knew where to eat and whatnot. I got another soup and salad meal (I think that might be all I eat whilst I am here...everything else seems to be roasted on a sword and served as is.) and then we wandered down a random ally and found some AMAZING live jazz.
Let's just say I was extremely impressed with the quality and sophistication of the music. There were these 6 brothers (I instantaneously fell in love with the accordion player :)) and instead of having a vocalist or horn player as the melodic leader they had a violinist...so they were a Jazz-String-Sextet...FRICKIN COOL STUFF! They ended with a rousing chorus of "All of Me" in cut time, which was completely unrecognizable to me until like the last two minutes!
The next day Madison and I figured out how the metro system works and realized that public transportation may in fact be the answer to all life's problems. We checked into the dorms (which are WAY nicer aside from said lame-wannabe-beds) and went grocery shopping and said goodbye to Mad's awesome Father and brother.
Then more wandering happened and then later we met up with a bunch of people who are in the program for dinner. There are seriously some REALLY marvelous individuals here. There's there's these three guys who I can already tell I'm gonna be buddies with (me and my man folk hah!) but none of them are crush material, simply friend-ing material. There's Salvador who is from LA; he's this short, stocky Hispanic guy who is entirely goofy-hearted and probably going to be my best man-friend here. He was wearing a Transformers T-Shirt...with style...that's all I have to say hahaha...and then there's this GIANT-tall-bean-pole-man named Matt who has a red-beard and ate chicken hearts on a skewer on his way here to Prague (and has a random ability to find bobby-pins everywhere...? cool.) he's from NY but goes to school in Seattle. Finally there's Jake who is also from LA...he's got a great head of beautiful curly hair...but he's the same height as me and smokes like a chimney; essentially, he's this little man who acts all hard core and seems rather rock-star stylish in a funny intellectual way at least.
Now it is currently about 7:40 AM...I got about 4 hours of sleep because my brain wouldn't shut up and this bed's insufiiciency was really hard to ignore...I just hope I sleep at SOME point and don't just turn into zombie lady. I going to go running this morning with another guy-man named Shawn who also goes to Western. He is rather tall and awkwardly quiet...it was weird...usually I have a talent for opening people up but he was just...awkward and quiet...it will be nice to run with a male person...I hear they are great deterants for rape and such nonsense.

PEACE!

(oh yeah and I am slowly trying to teach myself Czech through this online programy thingy....so I guess I should end with a Czech phrase?)


NA SHLEDANOU!

SO! Mad helped me set up this new and fantastical blogness so that all of you fine people can stalk while I'm out of the country...that is if you even knew that I was going out of the country in the first place...ANYWAYS!

Currently I have gained approximately two pounds upon entering Mad's Grandmother's home (situated on the outskirts of Chi-town). I am not happy about these two pounds...however; I am willing to forgive myself because the half-pound steak and half pound piece of devil's food cake as they seemingly made up for me living on Jelly and black beans (the only things left in the fridge when my dear Mother left for Up North) for the past three days.

Mad had mentioned that her Grandma-ma was wealthy...but I was not expecting a mansion with four bedrooms (each with it's own bathroom AND walk-in-closet) three different living rooms and a different state-of-the-art computer in every other room...I am impressed to say the least. I plan on getting up at 6 tomorrow in order to get a quick run in before I spend 48 hours sitting on my butt and trying to be patient...which as many of you know is impossible in Sam-land...be glad you are not there to witness Zombie-Sam...I have a feeling i am going to hate myelf by the time we get there...even if Madison doesn't!

I feel that maybe when I come back things will be put into perspective. I hope I'll know what to pick out and worry about. I will willingly and graciously accept my faults, rather than shredding myself to tiny bits and latching onto some vague fantasy of how to tape "ME" back together. Talk about self-mutilation...that was a really atrocious analogy and I apologize haha!

So yes. I am on my way.


“Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.” - Jack Kerouac